apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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