I accidentally had phone sex last night
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
