kristin has been a bad kristin
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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