but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
