And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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