If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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