Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
