well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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