Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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