what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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