I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
