Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
