Fuck appropriateness.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize