worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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