He is an equal opportunity slut.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
