ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
