just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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