Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize