I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
