If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize