Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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