he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
