NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
