dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
