There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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