She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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