he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i would one night stand the shit outta him
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Randomize