what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
