I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
