i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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