She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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