I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
