I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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