But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize