I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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