The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
