My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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