I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
