I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
