he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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