dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
