I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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