i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
