So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
