i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
