Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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