just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
