So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
