batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
