i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
