i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
