Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
