hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
