we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
