this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
