I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
